Modern Poetry Edition #72 {Dirty Poems}


MP#72 in the books.  Winner of the MPulitzer is Dirty Laundry.  That’s it.  Why?  “bubble-headed-bleach-blonde comes on at five.”  It’s like Shakespeare but Modern.

She's Elvis.  I'm Priscilla.  Enjoy #73 soon.

--Sean

Modern Poetry Edition #72 {Dirty Poems}
[12/26/08]
**Dirty Laundry by Don Henley
Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson
Dirty Work by Steely Dan
Shimmy Shimmy Ya by Ol' Dirty Bastard
Dirty Mutha Fuzz by The Cherry Poppin' Daddies

**Winner of MPulitzer

What's just the best on December 26th?  Finishing up the cookies... sure, I hear ya.  Finding that one gift from yesterday you forgot to open... sure, that's good.  But what really gets me on Dec. 26th is some Dirty Poems.  Have you noticed how most good dirty poems are modern?  I have. Those old-century poets didn't have the life experience for such lines as: "I tell ya fellas I got whip marks on my butt." 

And there is not one poem from Coleridge or Keats or Browning that starts with the power of ODB:  "Hey, baby, I like it rawww..."

Oh yeah!  You love it, you love it.  You're not above it -- you're dirty.

Vote your conscience and you will not live to regret the outcome of the election.

You can get all your Modern Poetry here:  http://www.macdart.com/mp/default.htm 

--Sean

Dirty Laundry by Don Henley
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I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em all around

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who Comes on at five
She can tell you bout the plane crash with a gleam In her eye
Its interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a Running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry

You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo
We can dance and sing
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!


Dirty Work by Steely Dan
=================================================
Times are hard
You're afraid to pay the fee
So you find yourself somebody
Who can do the job for free
When you need a bit of lovin'
Cause your man is out of town
That's the time you get me runnin'
And you know I'll be around

I'm a fool to do your dirty work, Oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work, No more
I'm a fool to do your dirty work, Oh yeah

Light the candle
Put the lock upon the door
You have sent the maid home early
Like a thousand times before
Like the castle in its corner
In a medieval game
I foresee terrible trouble
And I stay here just the same

I'm a fool to do your dirty work, Oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work, No more
I'm a fool to do your dirty work, Oh yeah

Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson
=================================================
Oh No . . . Oh No . . . Oh No . . .

You'll Never Make Me Stay
So Take Your Weight Off Of Me
I Know Your Every Move
So Won't You Just Let Me Be
I've Been Here Times Before
But I Was Too Blind To See
That You Seduce Every Man
This Time You Won't Seduce Me

She's Saying That's Ok
Hey Baby Do What You Please
I Have The Stuff That You Want
I Am The Thing That You Need
She Looked Me Deep In The Eyes
She's Touchin' Me So To Start
She Says There's No Turnin' Back
She Trapped Me In Her Heart

Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No Dirty Diana
Let Me Be!

Oh No . . . Oh No . . . Oh No . . .

She Likes The Boys In The Band
She Knows When They Come To Town
Every Musician's Fan After
The Curtain Comes Down
She Waits At Backstage Doors
For Those Who Have Prestige
Who Promise
Fortune And Fame, A Life
That's So Carefree
She's Saying That's Ok
Hey Baby Do What You Want
I'll Be Your Night Lovin' Thing
I'll Be The Freak You Can Taunt
And I Don't Care What You Say
I Want To Go Too Far
I'll Be Your Everything
If You Make Me A Star

Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No Dirty Diana . . .
Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No Dirty Diana . . .
Diana! Diana!
Dirty Diana!
It's Dia . . .Aa . . .Aa . . .
Come On!

She Said I Have To Go Home
'Cause I'm Real Tired You See
But I Hate Sleepin' Alone
Why Don't You Come With Me
I Said My Baby's At Home
She's Probably Worried Tonight
I Didn't Call On The Phone To
Say That I'm Alright

Diana Walked Up To Me,
She Said I'm All Yours Tonight
At That I Ran To The Phone
Sayin' Baby I'm Alright
I Said But Unlock The Door,
Because I Forgot The Key,
She Said He's Not Coming Back
Because He's Sleeping With Me

Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana, No
Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah Dirty Diana . . .
Come On! Come On!
Come On! Come On!...

Shimmy Shimmy Ya by Ol' Dirty Bastard
=================================================
Hey, baby, I like it rawww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!
Ooh, baby, I like it raww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!
Sh...

Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay,
Gimme the mic so I can take it away.
Off on a natural charge, bon voyage
Yeah, from the home of the Dodgers, Brooklyn squad
Wu-Tang Killerrr Bees on a swarm!
Rain on ya dollar's ass, disco dorm!
For you to even touch my skill,
You gotta have the one Killer Bee and he ain't gonna kill. Now
My producer slam, my flow is like bam!
Chop that down, pass it all around!
Lyrics get hard, quick cement to the ground!
For any MC in any 52 states,
I gets psycho killerrrr Norman Bates!
My producer slam, sharp like bam!
Jump on stage, and then I dun-daaaah!

(I like the way you come)

Hey, baby, I like it rawww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!
Ooh, baby, I like it raww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!

Ooh, baby, I like it raww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!
Hey, baby, I like it rawww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!

Hey, baby, I like it rawww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!
Ooh, baby, I like it raww... Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!

Dirty Mutha Fuzz by The Cherry Poppin' Daddies
=================================================
I thought I was bad thought l's a kickin' stud
I thought I had a knockin' stroll
I caught a momma glidin' through the alley
A big pink pussycat she said "meow"
She said her name was Tammy
And her sugar hills worked the cure
I came to her in jammies
And I left so-phista-mature

Dirty mutha fuzz

Well the next day I's hung over
My head still hurt like hell
I begged to her have mercy
But she pounded on me just like a nail
She unwrapped all by chocolates
I opened up all her cans
She spread herself out like a banquet and said
"i'm gonna punish you my man"

Dirty mutha fuzz

I got my fine sexy sheba here
She only smokes the peckerilla
It's like we're chillin' down in graceland
She's Elvis - I'm Priscilla

Dirty, yeah she loves you dirty mutha fuzz
She's built like a candy store and lord i ate too much
Dirty, she's got the velvety hand cuffs
I tell ya fellas I got whip marks on my butt
Dirty, yea my tickle turned into a scream
I tasted the cool whip and produced my whip cream
Little orphan Annie's got on red stiletto heels
She said, "you love it, you love it,
Just gaze up at me as you kneel"

When she went for the whip fellas
A chill went down my spine
Such an innocent face
With such an evil mind

I pushed the buttons on her blaster
John Coltrane began to bop
I started workin' on a solid rhythm
With horns over the top
All at once she whispered
"a little fertilizer will make it grow"
Her blubber cups bucked a blizzard
And I covered her with snow

Dirty mutha fuzz

Dirty, yeah she loves you dirty mutha fuzz
She's built like a candy store and lord I ate too much
Dirty, she's got the velvety hand cuffs
I tell ya fellas I got whip marks on my butt
Dirty, yea my tickle turned into a scream
I tasted the cool whip and produced my whip cream
Little orphan Annie's got on red stiletto heels
She said, "you love it, you love it
You're not above it -- you're dirty."